Breaking Free from a Life Full of Addiction, Codependency, and Self-Doubt
As a Child:
• I struggled with low self-worth and constantly sought adult approval.
• Found my worth in what others said about me.
• Felt out of place and uncomfortable in my own skin.
• Never felt like I was good enough.
As a Teenager:
• Began associating with the wrong crowd and found their indifference to adult opinions appealing.
• Developed bulimia at 12 after being told I was getting chunky.
• Started using drugs every weekend by 14 to fit in and change the way I feel, found my worth through my appearance and attention from the opposite sex
• Entered a very physically and emotional abusive relationship at 14, which led to a shotgun being put in my mouth and me begging for my life, being kidnapped for a week and a couple trips to the hospital. Never received counseling after that
• Became deeply involved with drugs after that relationship and started using them daily by 16, and eventually dropped out of school.
• Entered another toxic relationship at 18 with a 29-year old
• Financially dependent on my parents, who supported all my living expenses.
As a Young Adult:
• Became a young mother at 20, still reliant on my parents for financial support.
• Stayed in the toxic relationship no matter how unhealthy it was
• Relapsed into addiction after gaining weight from pregnancy, relying on my parents to care for my daughter.
• Faced legal consequences at 24
When I Finally Hit My Rock Bottom:
• Realized at 25 that I needed to become the mother my daughter deserved or I would never forgive myself
• Entered rehab for two weeks, but had to leave due to insurance limitations.
• I stayed clean but was substituting with alcohol for a while and got a DWI and had to do Intensive Day Treatment in jail for 3 months. That 3 months was the hardest and best thing that ever happened to me. It totally changed my life and I’m forever grateful.
• Dedicated myself to recovery, an intimate relationship with God, became a better parent, and focused on improving my life. Got my GED, started college, got a job and started my own business
STARTING OVER AND BELIEVING IN MYSELF AGAIN
• After 17 years of lies and affairs, God opened my eyes and I was finally done.
• Realized that the life I was living wasn’t what God wanted for me or my daughter.
• After ten years of sobriety, I realized that God was asking me to let go of everything I had worked so hard to build.
• Faced the difficult decision to give up my successful business, I moved my father to a nursing home, and leave the home we had just bought two years ago.
• Trusted God and released everything, believing He had a better plan.
God’s Plans are Always Better Than Mine:
• Two years after my divorce, I can finally say I’m free, though it’s been the hardest journey of my life.
• Turned to God instead of drugs, alcohol, or men during difficult times.
• I choose everyday to find my identity in Him and who He says I am while seeing His will everyday, not mine
• Established healthy boundaries and shifted focus from people-pleasing to God-pleasing.
• Finally content being single, understanding my worth comes from God, not others.
• Raised a strong independent beautiful daughter who knows where her worth comes from
